Ask any mother and she’s likely to share her struggles at various stages of motherhood.
As a mum in Singapore, my plate always seem so full. From balancing work and kids, managing self-expectations, handling the expectations you place on your children, navigating emotional dynamics, dealing with increasing financial expenses, recalling your own childhood experiences, and finding it so hard to make time for yourself… it’s like a whole package nobody told us about before becoming parents!
How do we even get started on our own retirement planning and plan about our own old age?!
Motherhood struggles are real, mummies – we’re humans
If I had to name the most challenging aspect at my current life stage, it would be balancing work and kids. My job is flexible but demanding; it takes up a lot of my time. I strive to dedicate the evenings to my kids, but in reality, I can’t. That’s because evenings are when my clients are available, or when I need to clear work deadlines or prepare for meetings.
They say everyone has the same number of hours in a day, but it never seems enough. I am continuously trying to juggle and improve my life structure to make it more efficient.
My website, Journey Beyond Finance, sums it up perfectly: ‘As mums, we face similar challenges while wearing multiple hats. I’m a daughter, wife, mother and financial consultant.’ Like many working mothers in Singapore, things can get overwhelming at work and at home at the same time and I completely understand. This can take a turn especially when unexpected changes occur.
For instance, last year, I was the main caregiver for my beloved late mother-in-law. However, earlier this year, she passed away, while my helper left for good. With the myriad of changes, it necessitated a total adjustment of our routine once again.
To me, the hardest part about being a mother is feeling like I need to be an octopus. They say most women can multitask; I’m not sure if I’m one of the minorities. 😅 This also explains why every mother’s challenges and circumstances are unique. Some seem to have it tougher; others seem to have it easier. We are only human; we have our strengths and weaknesses.
Every day is a learning journey for us.
Advice to soon-to-be mums or fellow mummies: strive for balance
- Embrace Imperfection: Accept that not everything will be perfect. Motherhood comes with its set of unexpected challenges and surprises—it’s okay not to have all the answers. Embrace the imperfections as they often lead to the most cherished moments. Manage your expectations, whether they’re about being the perfect role model because of your past, or the expectations you place on your child. When it comes to your child, you know them better than anyone else. Trust your instincts when making decisions about their care and well-being.Remember, perfection is not attainable, and every individual is unique. Trust yourself and do what feels right for you – even if it means choosing the right battles.
- Find Your Rhythm: I’ve learnt to reframe my mind and accept that motherhood and my line of work, is a marathon, not a sprint. Learn to find your rhythm by prioritising tasks that need immediate attention and decide what can wait. This will help prevent burnout and ensure that you’re not overwhelmed by the continuous demands. Staying flexible as plans and routines change will help you adapt without stress. This approach reduces anxiousness and allows mums to flow more naturally with the demands of both motherhood and professional life.
- Nurture Yourself: There’s only one of ‘YOU’ so make time for yourself. The endless list of tasks will never shorten, but taking time to relax is crucial. Whether it’s reading a book, going for a run, or having coffee with friends, these moments are vital for mental rejuvenation. You need these “me time” breaks without the mum’s guilt to maintain your health and happiness, which in turn, makes you a better parent. Celebrate the small victories along the way, as every step forward is an achievement. Whoever said that it costs a bomb to love yourself?
Right now, striving for BALANCE has become my constant ideal in life as mum.
Sharing experiences and solutions can be incredibly beneficial, and I have been doing it with my clients who are mummies on a personal level. That’s what I am hoping to build through JourneyBeyondFinance.com – a network of mothers and parents who lift each other in the community. Motherhood is a journey, and I am here with you.
